then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
