i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Barsexuality is the new black.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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