when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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