hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
