And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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