I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
