I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
