I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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