i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
