So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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