So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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