so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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