It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
