My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
