bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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