I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you didnt know i had herpes?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
