the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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