I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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