Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
