every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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