dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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