Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
