Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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