i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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