you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
