It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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