We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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