If that was your dad, he is hot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
