Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize