you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
