CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
