if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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