don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
