I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
