What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
