We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
