We're facebook friends in real life
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
