This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
