the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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