his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
