My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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