when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
