Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
