Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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