i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
