Christians are straight up FREAKS
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
