just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
