Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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