It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
