the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
