the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize