I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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