he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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