lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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