new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have aggressive nipples.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
