i already hear my dad disowning me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
